Thumbs up to everyone

Just a quick story.  Whenever I go to uni I park at a Tesco because it is the biggest car park near the train station.  Usually when I return from uni I just get into my car and leave but occasional I will venture into Tesco to pick up some sundries.


I was eyeing up some pasta sauce this evening in Tesco, whenever I am thinking about buying something I have a habit of throwing it between my left and right hand repeatedly, I guess it is some weird way of weighing things up in my mind.
I only usually do this weird ritual on stuff that will break when dropped (like glass pasta jars for example) and in fairness I don't usually drop stuff, although today my right hand decided that today would be an excellent day to change that.  So I accidentally dropped a jar a pasta.  It wasn't from a great height, but apparently enough to shatter glass.  First thing I heard after the jar smashed was I faint cheer from somewhere, you know the one, that annoying cheer people insist on doing whenever they hear the sound of broken glass (although I can't imagine anyone cheering if they hear the sound of their window being broken into, that is an exception to the rule).


I looked around to see if there was anyone else on the same aisle, luckily there wasn't, other than the 2 store security guards who were stood at the end watching me.  "fuck, well I'm not going to get away with it now am I" I thought to myself.  I went over to them and informed them of the incident, not like they needed informing...  
"don't worry, we will just add it to your bill...." (brief pause) "I'm only joking mate, don't worry about it, I will get the cleaner to clean it up" he said something on those lines.


With the security guard's blessing I continued by haphazard grocery shop.  This was the first point I noticed that my hand was completely red.  Most of it was just pasta sauce although I was bleeding from the thumb as well.  I used a tissue to wipe most of the sauce away and lick my thumb to get rid of the blood, I didn't want to use that old tissue on a cut.  My cut tasted all pastery (if that's a word).  It was nice, the tangy flavour of tomatoes with a gentle hint of salt.  Although the pasta taste didn't last long and after the second lick and I was left with the flavour of bleeding. 


I still had some other stuff to buy but the bleeding wouldn't stop, everything I touched in the shop I was leaving my DNA on.  Of course I was far to manly to ask the security guard for a plaster, I'd much rather walk around with a bleeding hand leaving my essence on everything.  In fairness I just wanted to buy my groceries and leave, I was worried that if I asked for a plaster it would take ages and I would have to fill out some stupid accident book detailing my injuries, then sign some stupid document saying that I would not sue Tesco should I become ill and loose my hand or die as I result of my injuries.


A few aisles along I saw the woman manager run past me shouting for the cleaner, she was going ape shit saying that there was broken glass on aisle 2!  I felt slightly guilt that she was running round looking for the cleaner because of me and my clumsiness.  I kept a low profile when she ran past hiding both my face and more importantly my guilt bleeding hand.


When I got to my car I remember I had a medkit under the steering wheel.  I didn't really want to use it though, I was saving it for that time when I witness and big traffic accident and I have to go in and save the day with my little red medkit and stop someone from bleeding to death with my quick fingers and some plasters.  Though I decided to be selfish for once and use it on myself.  So I got out my plasters and antibacterial wipes and patched myself up.
  
Though I still had the drive home to look forward to, because of the plaster wrapped round my thumb my left hand was permanently stuck in the thumps up position, this made driving home interesting.  It wasn't any more difficult, I just felt like a bit of an idiot giving everyone I drove past the thumbs up.  The drivers I stopped behind at traffic lights must have thought I was an idiot giving them the thumbs up constantly for doing nothing.  "look hunny, that weird guy in that dodgy car behind us is giving us the thumbs up"


 Anyway, I am home now, and don't worry, as you can see my injury has not affected my ability to write.  I hope you are all very ecstatic to hear that =)

Note my shopping next
to my medkit

Sorry about the rubbish
quality of my camera phone

My absence

It has been over 2 weeks since I've been on my blog, it's not like I have forgot about it, I have just been busy.  I have been thinking about loads of stuff to write, it is just getting round to writing it.  I do a lot of day dreaming, I can act out a event in my mind weeks after it has happened in perfect detail, it is just getting round to writing it down.  I will start writing stuff very soon.  I want more followers!

Who would shoplift from a charity shop?

Being unemployed has given me a lot of free time and the opportunity to try new things rather than the daily 9 to 5 grind.  One of my flatmates was a former volunteer at the local Oxfam shop, a lot of his friends and people we do the pub quiz with are also either former or current volunteers at Oxfam, so the idea of volunteering at the Oxfam shop was quickly, and repeatedly suggested to me.  At first I didn't want to volunteer because I had handed a copy of my CV to virtually ever bar within a mile radius of where I live and I was expected some interviews to come up.  However after not hearing anything back I decided to give Oxfam a go.

It was my first shift today, my shift was from 10 in the morning till 2 in the afternoon.  I entered the shop at 10:20 (20 minutes late), luckily Rick didn't seem to mind, to be honest he didn't even know I was coming in today.  Their was another volunteer, a girl called Grace, it was her first day as well.  Pete was also their however he had manflu or something so he hid in the back in the stockroom and left after an hour.  In fairness he did look like hell.

The day was interesting overall.  I wide variety of people seem to shop at Oxfam.  Old people, young people, tall people, short people, posh people, common people, sane people, maybe not so sane people..... everyone seems to drop by their local Oxfam.

Though some unwanted people made an brief appearance as well i.e. shop lifters.  One of the first "customers" I saw was some blonde woman in her forties with scraped back hair.  She placed something in her back near the front of the shop (I think it was a glasses case) and quickly exited the shop.  I couldn't believe it at first, I thought I'd must have been mistaken so I asked Rick if we were selling glasses cases near the front and he said yeah we have one on display.  I told him what I saw and he quickly ran to the door however the bitch had made good her escape.

Rick told me how it isn't uncommon for people to shoplift.  Like, who would shoplift from a charity shop?!  Some people are really really low.  Just like my flatmate Chris put it "you have to be a bit of a cunt to steal from a charity shop".  I guess people see us as an easy target because we are a none profit organization and we can't afford those security guards you see at supermarkets or a system of cctv cameras, plus all the people working there are volunteers.

It isn't just shoplifting either that goes on.  We get people trying everything to exploit the good shop of Oxfam for their selfish gain.  We get people who will pick an expensive item of clothing and swap the price label with that of a much cheaper one.  People who just tear the label off completely and try and argue a price they want to pay with the person behind the till, we also get people who try and bargain at the till, they say like "oh, I know it's £7.99 but I only have a Fiver on me, that's ok right?"  No, of course its not.  We never sell items for any other price other than what it written on the label, and yes we check to see if the label has been tampered with as well.  We even have a little doorbell under the desk which is attached to a bell in the back room should be need reinforcements to deal with particularity awkward customers or a dodgy or miss price label.

I'm only a volunteer, I thought this would be a simple job...
My next shift is on Tuesday morning, hopefully there will be shoplifters then.